Master's & Commander's

There are many options in life to be successful and my story is just about one profession I was forced into but came out good. This profession is not talked about very much but millions of people are working and make a good living out of it. In Malaysia, I’m not sure why our Indians are not aware of this profession or maybe they are mislead into believing that they need a high qualification to be able to join this field. If you want to be an officer, you need good results, an engineer also needs basic engineering knowledge but to become deck, engine or galley crew, there is no qualification. You just need to complete 2 safety course, Basic firefighting and Survival Craft which is conducted in many places in Malaysia. If you have these 2 certificate, you can go to the marine department and get a Discharge Book, which is you seaman's passport. With that, you are entitled to sail on any ship as a crew and get yourself some experience and work your way up. I have sailed with a Singaporean Officer who was a crew for 8 years and decided to study and becomes an officer. I had the honor to sail with him twice, once as a cadet when he was a 3rd Officer and once as a 2nd Officer when he was the chief Officer. He was eventually promoted as a captain and the last I heard, he was in charge of NOL fleet in Philippines. That is a real success story, not many in the world have done that these days. That guy was an Indian; his name is Captain Siva Subramaniam.

I am not so sure about how parents motivate their teenage kids nowadays but back in my school days there were only three options to choose from as a career, Doctor, Lawyer and Engineer. I'm sure there were many other professions available but Indians generally loves these three professions and since small we are being programmed to believe that only this profession exists. It is no exception that my family brought us up in the same manner, of course they sacrificed a lot, my father was a JKR lorry driver for 36 years, an obedient government servants and my mum was a housewife. Well, there were 4 of us, I was the youngest, I have 2 elder brother and an elder sister and all of us were schooling. Later in life, my mum had to work in a fertilizer factory to support our education and expenses. We went through hardship but my parents had a goal, to make sure we all excel in our studies and become professional.

My eldest brother was an exceptional student and his results were worth framing on the wall. He was one of the top students in MCE and HSC in Malaysia and obviously fulfilled my parents dream on becoming a doctor. He is a very successful O&G Specialist at Mahkota Medical Centre, Malacca. I was motivated by his success and drive myself to emulate him but not smart enough to get into the local university for Medicine as there is only certain number of Indians allowed for the medical seat and we Indians are competing among us for the seat. We don’t compete with nationwide students for courses in the university; we compete among ourselves to get the 20 or 30 seats available to our race. It was the turning point in my life and I decided not to burden anyone anymore, my brothers supported me when I sat for my form 6 exams and I decided I will go on my own.

I told myself, if I couldn’t secure anything in Malaysia then I try Singapore so I bought the newspaper and start looking at the offers in Singapore. They have numerous courses available and many are fully funded/scholarship and that is exactly what I was looking for. I saw an ad saying "A Career At Sea" with a picture of a cadet looking through an Azimuth mirror. The cadet looked nice in the white uniform and the ampulettes on his shoulder which signifies his ranking. I immediately liked it, something different and they pay you allowance to study. This is the first job that I applied and following day I applied for SIA pilot. I manage to complete my 2nd interview as a pilot and almost certain to get into SIA when Neptune Orient Lines (NOL), Singapore National Shipping Line called me for an interview. I asked my father if I should go for the interview and he told me "why not" and he took me to Singapore for the interview. I didn’t know head and tail of what I’m getting into but I’m determined to work and support myself without asking anything from my family. I got through the interview and was selected to join the PRE Sea Induction Course as a cadet officer in Singapore Polytechnics. The GM of NOL at that time was Mr. Goh Chok Tong, who later becomes Prime Minister of Singapore.

Now, I have 2 jobs waiting and I’m not sure which one to choose from, my mother made it easy for me, she said if ship gets into trouble, you can jump into the sea but if plane get into trouble you will crash and die. So, it's done, I am going to become a sailor and hopefully a captain in 10 years time. This is one profession where you need to start from the bottom, no matter how good your results were, you still need to go through life as a cadet and gradually climb the ladder based on your performances onboard and examination results. I successfully completed my course and was ready to join my first ship as a cadet officer. I need to clock 2 years of sea time as a cadet to be able to sit for my class 3 COC exam. The day arrived and I was taken on a boat from Clifford Pier to the anchored vessel at Eastern Anchorage, I was not alone, there was another guy by the name of Siva Subramaniam joining the ship as 3rd Officer. It was about 2am and after about 45 minute boat ride, I saw the ship and it was huge although later in life I realize it was the smallest ship I sailed on. The ship was a product tanker called MT Pacific Challenger and I am part of the crew now, I have duties and responsibilities as a cadet and I was very, very scared.

When we did our initial course, none of the lecturer's ever told us that the cadets are the cheap labor onboard, although we were there to learn and work at the same time; it was too much for me. The day I climbed the gangway onboard the ship and signed the papers, I have to abide by the rules and the superiors. Everyone on the ship is superior to me and I was the most junior, it was really tough, the ship sails all over the world and very rarely calls Singapore so whenever it reaches its home port, it takes in spare parts, deck stores, provision stores, engine room stores, cabin stores etc. I and the other cadets were arranging all these stuff for 24 hours nonstop, didn’t even realize that the ship already pass straits of Malacca and into the Indian ocean. Cadet’s life was tough, at least during my time and apart from doing the daily chores on deck we need to keep navigational watch on the bridge for 4 hours every day. My first port of call was Madras and I have to keep watch on deck, opening valves and pipes for the discharging of cargo. The captain is signing off from the ship and somehow I never liked him, I don’t think he liked me either. I was happy he signed off but worried about his replacement, just praying that he is at least human.

The next morning I was on duty at the manifold, where all the pipelines connected to shore and the gangway, Madras tanker terminal is really ancient, they don’t use any kind of machinery even to pull the ships wire-rope, about 20 people will pull the wire-rope and placed it on the bollard. Everyone wants to come onboard the ship by claiming his brother, uncle or nephew is working on the ship. Keeping them at bay is already a difficult task. I can talk Tamil therefore I have the task to talk to them and chase them away. It was about 4pm, a fair, tall and slightly bolding man clad in jeans and a white t-shirt with a big bag walk up the gangway and I stopped him halfway and told him he cannot come onboard. He ask for my name and rank and I told him I’m cadet Raghu, he told me he's Captain Imam, i laughed and told him you are the tenth guy claiming to be a captain so don’t waste my time and please go back down. He looked at me and smiled, turn back and walked down the gangway and went to the cargo control room and called the chief officer onboard, said to him that the cadet is not letting me up so I don’t think the ship could sail without a captain. My walkie-talkie started raining with flowery words, the chief officer was basically running on deck towards me and shouted every holy words that is in known to human, that when I realized I actually chased the real captain away, my heart sank, I’m dead meat, I screwed my career up, everything is over, I’ll be sent back home, end of my sailing career and the other cadets were just conforming what I have thought in my mind, not much of a help anyway. Captain Imam signaled to the chief officer asking me to come down and carry his luggage, of course in lightning speed I went down and without looking at his face I carried his bags and walked behind him. When we reached the ship's deck, the Chief Officer greeted the captain and apologized on my behalf saying that I’m new, just 5 days onboard, will give him extra work for his misdeeds etc, Captain Imam turn and looked at me, smiled and told the chief officer, why are you shouting, he did his job well, I didn’t show any papers or Id that I’m the captain so he chased me down, give him a break, let him arrange my stuff in my room.

Well, that man is my godfather and I am grateful to him for eternity, He is Captain Farhat Imam, an Indian citizen from New Delhi, his father was working with the late Prime Minister Indra Gandhi, or something like that but he made me what I am today. My life changed overnight, he was a good man, caring, intelligent, discipline, neat and very knowledgeable. Twice he tear of my resignation papers, first when he just join the ship and secondly when the ship came back to Singapore and I was allowed to signoff to attend my brother’s wedding. That day is still fresh in my mind, I was standing at the bridge wing with tears in my eyes, and I’m so close to home but cannot leave the ship to attend my brother’s wedding. Captain Imam came and ask me why I want to quit, he was holding my resignation paper in his hand, and I told him that I made a mistake, this profession is not for me, I am not that tough and I’m very attached to my family so leaving them and sailing across the ocean is not as easy as I thought. He shook his head, you don’t know what sailing is, you are sad because you cannot attend your brother's wedding, you should be happy that something joyous happening and be grateful to almighty, I was in the middle of Pacific Ocean when I got the news that my father passed away, I was the only son and they waited for me to come home. I wanted to jump into the sea and swim but I know there's nothing I could do except to pray and I did just that. The last thing a son wanted is to see his father's face before they buried him and I don’t have that privilege also. Now, tell me cadet Raghu, are you going to whine and curse your fate or get back to your duty. I looked up to him and said sir, now I’m more determine to quit because I don’t think I can go through what you went through. Let me signoff and I’ll find another career because this is not it, I know it. He became serious, ok he said, I cannot keep someone who doesn’t want to sail, you won’t be able to work thus you will burden everyone else, I will telex the office for a replacement and you can leave at the next port of call, that is in Aden, Yemen. I thanked him not knowing what his motive is and went on doing my work. The voyage to Yemen is about 2 weeks and I was doing my duty well and in the process learning much faster than anyone else. When the ship reached Yemen, the captain told me that my replacement didn’t arrive and have to wait until the ship reach Okinawa, Japan. That is another 20-23 days voyage, I cannot complain because the captain is helping me and I have to follow the rules. The ship reached Okinawa and again my replacement was not there, many other crew, engineers and officers sign-off and sign-on but no cadet, I was thinking how come there was no cadet, afterall they are the lowest rank person and easiest to find. The captain again told me, this time there is no more excuse from the company, ship is going to Singapore and definitely they will take you out.

There is another 10 days voyage and by the time the ship reached Singapore I would have sailed for almost 2 month already, I was on the bridge duty when the ship reached Singapore anchorage, while the captain busy looking for a spot to drop the anchor, I was at the bridge wing looking at the night skyline, the millions of lights sparkling through the night and the fresh breeze that brushes my hair, it’s the day I am saying goodbye to the sailing career which I chose and accepted defeat for the first time in my life. I lost not because I cannot work but I couldn't stay away from my parents, brothers and sisters, the toughest thing in life is not about working, it's about leaving the loved one's and lives alone. Loneliness is the toughest test a man can go through and I failed because I couldn't’t cope with it. The ship anchored and I hand over my duties to the other cadet and went down to my cabin. it was pass midnight and I was not sure what to do, to pack my things or to just lie down and wait, there was a knock on my door and when I open it, Captain Imam was standing there, so Raghooo, that's how he calls me, you have not packed yet, don’t you want to go back, you are just half hour away from land, and another 1 hour you will be in JB and back home, you don’t look happy. Sir, I don’t think I want to leave yet, I already clocked 2 month and I have another 4 month before I can sign-off officially, I don’t know what to do now. He pass me a paper, my resignation paper actually, and told me, baiya, I also never called for your replacement and for your information the ship cannot sail only when there's no captain, anyone else is not that important especially a cadet, I could have let you go in Madras itself but I saw your courage, hard work and your duty consciousness and I thought the company should not lose a good Captain in years to come so thank me and go to sleep. I looked at him and cried, I told him I will be the best that anyone can be, and I will make him proud. He smiled and told me “I know".

That day onwards, I become a true sailor, I loved my work, I am the first to volunteer for any risky job (like entering the tank, doing tank cleaning), organize sports activity, football, table tennis, darts competition, cross country (running around the ship, one full round is about 600 meters, OK) and anything that is deemed safe to do on board an oil tanker. We work like dogs, we have to clean 8 COT (cargo oil tanks) when there is a change in type of cargo to load, such as from diesel to naphtha (the tank is about 7 story high and 50 meters wide, when you are at the bottom of it, it like the alien movie, Smokey, dark and scary noises) . We have to gas free the tanks and once the hydrocarbon level is within the safe limit and the oxygen is 21% we enter the tank to wash and clean it thoroughly, even though the reading shows it’s safe to enter, there are bound to have poisonous gases in the tank and we are to immediately go up the ladder if we become noxious, and it happens on a daily basis and there were many fatalities occurred during tank cleaning, including one of my friend who died due to inhaling poisonous gas inside the tank, he was Paul Selvam, a Singaporean boy). They kept his dead body in the vegetable room for a few days until the ship reaches the port and many of the crew has told me they hear his voice saying he is cold, take him out of the vegetable room whenever they go down to the galley to eat after midnight. We get special allowance for cleaning the tanks, about USD100-USD200 per voyage. When I reach my 6th month, the company send telex about my signing off in the next port but I was already the senior cadet and all the other cadets signed off so I didn’t want to sign off and stayed on the ship for 11 month, it was the most joyous days of my life when I get to give the new cadets a lesson in sailing. I perfected and learned everything on the ship, now the chief officer will call me only when there is something important or when there's problem because I’m the only one who know every valves (thousands of valves), taking the reading of oil in the tanks, taking soundings and securing the ship prior sailing. Captain Imam signed off on my 7th month and he quit sailing because he was offered the important job as the safety master for the entire fleet in NOL. He moved to Singapore with his family and living there ever since and I kept in touch with him, he even gave me money when I came back for my class 3 COC examination and I have not paid him back till now, he is a father to me, the person I placed next to my father because I am what he made me believe I am. During my 6 month with him, many things happen which will drag this story to another 10 pages but he saved me more than once, there was one incident where the terminal crew in Pulau Bukum attacked my boatswain (bosun) who is a 60 year old man, I and another Chinese cadet were upset and attacked those guys and when the ship is about to sail, those guys gathered about 30 gangsters and demanded the captain to stop the ship, well if the captain listened to them, we are dead instantly but he refused and sailed out to Japan, those guys were so angry and start throwing sampling bottles on board and the entire ship's deck was filled with broken glass. We cleaned it the next day and when the company called to inquire, the captain defended us and refused to sack us for our doings, he said they defended their crew and nothing wrong with that.

Our bad luck, the ship completed discharge in Okinawa, Japan and our next load port is Pulau Bukom, Singapore. Hymn, both of us were pissing in our pants, that was the first time I shaved my moustache, hopefully those guys don’t recognize me but the captain has called for security and there were about 10 policemen guarding our ship while loading and we can see the Chinese gangsters cursing and swearing at us and we just show the peace sign. The entire ship’s crew was swearing at us because none were allowed to go shore or even to go down to the jetty to make a call. We took all the verbal abuse gracefully. I also had a privilege to follow Captain Imam to his mother in Law house in Karachi, It was Aidiladha (Hari Raya Haji) and every street were stacked with cow’s intestine and other inedible stuff, they were everywhere. We wanted to see Benazir Bhutto House so the taxi driver took us there, she was under house arrest then and at least we saw her house la, something is better than nothing. I had my first camel ride, a very painful experience, if you know what I mean. The bottom line is, I am not complaining am enjoying my life and that when I called my brother who is a doctor and told him, thank god I didn’t become a doctor, life is so much more than that.

Every profession has it's pros's and con's and the bottom line is whether we are into it or not, if I quit on the second month, I probably would have done something else and probably happy with my achievements but nothing would have replaced my achievement on board the ship, I struggle, suffered, cried, homesick and bullied but I manage to take it and eventually emerge victorious and never looked back since. I won the battle of running coward and made a hero out of myself, there are a thousand more stories to it on my quest to become a captain, I just talked about one ship, I sailed for about 12 years and guess what kind of exposure and situation I could have been, I was in Kuwait when Iraq invaded them in 1991, many oilfield at sea were torched, visibility were zero, we have to navigate by radar, two American battleship escorted us out of Persian gulf and we have to paint all the portholes black so that in the night there won’t be any lights emitting out, fearing the aircraft might drop a bomb on us. We were stranded in the Mississippi river near Baton Rouge when the great flood occurred, couldn’t sail out because don’t know where is the river, everything was water. We were hit by a bad weather at Australian bight near Tasmania where the waves were higher than the ship, the ship could not be steered and the captain decided to let the ship drift until the weather subside, eventually when we got control of the ship, we were few hundred miles away from Australia and heading towards the south pole. We have encountered numerous force 5/6/7 winds, tornado, hurricane, water sprout, tsunami and x-files (mysterious and un-explainable) but every day is a new day and ship never stops, work goes on and we still get paid. We know 75% of earth is water and I am proud to say that I probably covered about 80% of the earth.

There is something we need to know, god exists and nothing that man can create will stand against the nature and act of god. When you are at sea, you will know when the sea is so calm and you go down for tea and when you come up again, it looks like a battlefield, the sea can change within minutes from calm to a monster. I become close to god when I went to sea, no matter how big your ship is, how latest your equipment is, if the sea wants to swallow you, it just take less than a minute to send you to the bottom.

Recently, i scanned some of my old sailing pictures and uploaded in my Face Book, many were asking me why i am called a Captain so i put these pictures for everyone to see. There are also a few guys asking me if they can go sailing and how is the job scope. That's why i decided to write these article, hopefully it will give a idea what sailing is all about.

We are just the masters and commanders of a ship but god is the masters & commanders of the sea and the universe. I want to thank the Almighty for letting me see and experience the world he created and keeping me alive throughout my sailing days.

Captain.....